man...this is my life...just as i thought everything was going great...something happens and boom...i fall again!  what the f***...the cycle repeats...i knew this wasn' t gonna last long...but i still tried...i guess it's not worth trying anymore...seriously...i thought everything was fine...but i guess there's a lot more than i'll ever know...oh yeah...today...i found out that i got dropped from one of my classes...and now i have to get reinstated so i won't fail...dude...life sucks...i don't know anything anymore...i just want to drop out of school and become nothing...i feel like my dreams are so far away...i can't grab a hold on it...i feel like i'm slipping down, slowly...everyday is a step lower...what am i gonna do...i've been thinking about just running away...maybe i can start a new life there...with no friends...no family...no boyfriend...no nothing...just some money i've been saving...and begin a new journey...i wonder if i'll be happy then?? don't know...i don't even know which road i'm on...i use to think i know...but now...it's just blank...i'm staying alive as each day surpasses me...whatever happens happen...

to my family...even though i never tell you guys how much i truly care and love you guys...i do...with all my heart...all those times i've said that i wished for a better family...i don't...well...maybe for more respect from my brothers...but other than that...i love you guys...

to all my friends...thanks for everything...all those times that i've ever needed you guys...you were the ones who could comfort me...made me realize all my mistakes...take away my pain and suffering for awhile...made me laugh all the time...i'm thankful for ever finding you guys...i love you...you know who you are...

okay...i'm outs...

This one is my horoscope for the day...

Emotionally you may feel as if you are running up against a brick wall, YOUA XIONG. It could be that your first reaction is simply to drown your sorrows at the local bar. Remember that escapism is only a temporary remedy. If things are slamming themselves in your face today than use this as an indication that you need to take necessary action. Don't keep bouncing around from one thing to the next in order to avoid the obvious. Face the music!

This is my horoscope for the week...

The week starts off in a rather dramatic fashion, YOUA XIONG, with a Solar Eclipse in your love and romance zone. This is going to usher in a time of reckoning and a chance to see how the cosmos can bring your dreams to life in the twinkling of an eye. But not before you have understood why things cannot go on as they are. If you are affected by this Eclipse you may have felt that changes were on their way, but may also have been quite mystified as to what to do about them. As it happens, your ruling planet Mercury also aspects Pluto on the same day, so you can talk over some deep stuff and get things moving. But try and make your words healing rather than wounding. Mercury conjuncts Jupiter on Wednesday, which is going to bring out the positive side of the situation. If you haven't been able to see the light, you surely will soon. Relationships may end and new ones may begin - or you may move to a new level of commitment after a crisis and the realization of how much you mean to each other. Venus moves into your opposite sign of Sagittarius on Friday, which helps your long-term relationships. You'll have a ball!

It's weird how sometimes...they just know what you're going through...cos all this is true...

life isn't what everyone expects it to be...sometimes...we all feel like life is worthless...but what you all don't realize is that life was given for you to experience the good and the bad...of course everyone has their ups and their downs, but don't let those moments kill you slowly...i don't go to church or anything, but i do believe there is a God, and i've heard that God takes a person's life for his reasons...he put you here to do good things and to be happy...but if you're not doing the things that are right and if you're not happy...he has the authority to take your life away...so think about it the next time you decide to pull the trigger or tie a rope around your neck or overdose yourself with medicine...prove to God that you do have a purpose in life...and that is be yourself and be happy.  i don't mean for you have a perfect life...of course nobody is perfect, but try to make the choices sometimes...and when you don't...forgive yourself and try again...cos in the end...you're so much stronger as a person than you'll ever be! peace out!

Quote for the day:

It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.

well, well, well...here at school again...moping about my problems...ahahaha...my friends who read this...please...i know what you all are thinking...what are you still doing dragging your relationship this long anyways?  i know...i'm an idiot, but i can't help it...i'm beginning to think if a personal, special someone is trying to accuse of why my relationship doesn't work...if you ever read this...i hope you know that i don't mind talking to you about whatever is going on, but please...don't make it seem like you're neutral here...its definitely clear what your opinion is...and honestly...i don't care to know right now...cos i've got far better things to do than to worry about you trying to work out my relationship!!  Thanks for trying, though...i do appreciate what you're trying to do, but if we're ever friends to start out with...just comfort me...don't try to make things better for me cos it's not working...

anyways...now that i got that outta my mind...lemme see...here's something i thought was funny...it goes out to those people who like to drink beer as a hobby...24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...isn't that a coincidence???

here's a quote that i thought was pretty cool:

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.

here i am again...i guess now that i feel as if i don't have a life anymore...i can come on here and do what everybody else does...!!!  just joking...i don't want anyone coming on here leaving me comments about their opinions of my joke!!  anyways...life sucks like hell...i was talking to my little fatass...and she made a pretty clear point to me...of course i'm not gonna put on here...but it's something for me to really think about cos now...apparently, i have a lot to think about...!   yeap...that's what i am now...confused...i'm left with all these questions that doesn't want to be answered...the pain really hurts...but i guess once and twice isn't enough...love is like suicide...man...i'm serious...after how many times a loved one can hurt the other...the one hurting goes running back to the one who hurted them!  hum...i guess that's how you learn from all your mistakes...but why is that nobody ever learns from this one...???  don't know...if i knew...i wouldn't be asking...!  well...gotta to finish my homework before i go home tonight...still at school...been at school since this morning at 7am...i know...i'm a school geek...what can i say...!  hahaha...

to zesty...u sucker...u went clubbing without me...!!   its okay...i hope you had fun, though...! love you!